I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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