Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
