I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
