haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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