found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
