Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cockslap morals
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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