Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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