It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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