Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night

(586): View more from Michigan

2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street

(586): View more from Michigan

3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call

(586): View more from Michigan

So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you

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(586): 1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night (586): 2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street (586): 3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call (586): So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you http://tfl.nu/crcb

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(425): View more from Washington

OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?

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(425): OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy? http://tfl.nu/azer

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(443): View more from Maryland

Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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(443): Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain. (1-443): Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one. http://tfl.nu/00ky

Replies (38) Good night (3726) Bad night (1406)
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(702): View more from Nevada

You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

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(702): You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year http://tfl.nu/juhc

Replies (45) Good night (4760) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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(908): Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold http://tfl.nu/axfw

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

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(765): I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock" http://tfl.nu/hksp

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(647): View more from Ontario

Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"

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(647): Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those" http://tfl.nu/90p2

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better

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(+64): She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better http://tfl.nu/clth

Replies (8) Good night (3329) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.

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(843): I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/lhf2

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.

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(403): Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed. http://tfl.nu/yrbs

Replies (7) Good night (813) Bad night (1416) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.

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(360): It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that. http://tfl.nu/4zse

Replies (14) Good night (2756) Bad night (1544) Order T-Shirt
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(318): View more from Louisiana

She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.

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(318): She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking. http://tfl.nu/r9ow

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(407): View more from Florida

Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?

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(407): Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy? http://tfl.nu/b8mt

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(773): View more from Illinois

What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?

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(773): What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again? http://tfl.nu/duvn

Replies (7) Good night (1706) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.

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(770): I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby. http://tfl.nu/say7

Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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