I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot