i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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