SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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