I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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