Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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