i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
