Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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