i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
