ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
