can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
