Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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