Cold hands, warm shart.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
