The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize