That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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