I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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