i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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