My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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