We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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