I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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