She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
