Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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