Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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