apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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