even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
