we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
