let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
