I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
