Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
