Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and she was petting her beer can
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
