DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
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If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize