I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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