Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
