How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
