It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
