so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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