Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
