Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
