Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize