Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
