Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize