Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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