I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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