I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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