dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
