they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
